Nothing says I love you more than receiving an unsolicited picture of a stranger’s wanger, especially when it arrives out of the blue as if cupid himself inspired the assault.
‘Oh, the romance,’ said nobody……..ever.
People that send dick pics are the technological advancement of the traditional flasher. It is now much easier to stalk and expose oneself online that it is in person. With AirDrop, perpetrators can share obscene files with unsuspecting strangers on public transport. Even rejecting the file forces the recipient to look at it. And the proliferation of dating apps means culprits disguise themselves as suitors to gain a victim’s phone number, before following up with obscene photos.
Being on the receiving end of such pictures is a horrible experience. One would assume the senders intend to frighten, humiliate and belittle the recipient. Interestingly, an anonymous survey from 2019 found the most common reason to send a picture is the hope of receiving one back. Incredibly the second most common reason for sending one is the hope of finding a partner. Yep, you heard that right. As if all the enchantment of wooing a partner can be boiled down into one picture, of a dong.
A photo of a dick does not maketh a husband.
It’s like finding new customers for your business. Getting people’s time and attention on LinkedIn is difficult. It’s natural to feel there is only one chance, just one shot to communicate everything about your product that’s so amazing. And what’s wrong with that? Well, as a recipient of such communication, it can also feel like an unwanted approach. Somebody talking at you about why their product is a perfect fit before they know anything about you is an arrogant assumption. The rise in automated prospecting tools means it’s all too easy for salespeople to draft generic sales pitches, send to everyone they’re connected with on LinkedIn, and if they get one positive response, it’s worth it, right?
Unfortunately, not, it’s a similar rationale to the cyber-flasher, if they get one response back, they say it’s worth it. Except we all know it’s not because the remaining hundreds or even thousands of recipients are left frightened and disturbed by what’s happened. Plus, the chances are, you won’t even get the 1 positive response.
Receiving a generic sales pitch on LinkedIn that shouts features and benefits at you before a proper, friendly introduction makes you feel insignificant. Nobody has bothered to get to know you or ask your opinion before assuming/hoping you’ll buy their product. What are the chances such an approach leads you to purchase something? About the same as a dick pic from a stranger leading to marriage.
As much as it’s fantastic to have technology making our lives easier, it doesn’t mean our core values should change.
Whether it’s romance or business, you need to get to know people first, woo them, before you ask on a date, or start to sell.
That’s why this Valentine’s day we’re shouting loud and proud, ‘Don’t be a dick, send a card.’ A card is traditional and thoughtful. Who wouldn’t be excited to find out more about the person that’s sent it? And that’s the response you want, somebody eager to talk to you, instead of offended and hoping they never, ever, hear from you again.