Peppa Pig is one of the reasons why you should give me business.

Wait, what?!

Yes indeed, Peppa Pig.

Peppa and her brother George are quite possibly the most annoying things to have ever been on tv.

It used to be on my tv quite a lot until I realised what a couple of spoilt brats they were.

From Peppa being an outright bitch to George being a whiny little shit. To their parents, who try to constantly appease them by instilling no discipline. The show is a horrendous example to children.

Let’s also not gloss over the fact their goldfish bowl is on top of their tv.

So what the hell has this got to do with giving me business?

It’s two-fold but essentially in giving me your business, I’ll accumulate enough money to buy the rights to Peppa Pig.

Then I’ll commission one last episode to be made. One where Peppa and her family take a lovely day trip to the slaughterhouse and get turned into a wonderful array of pork products.

Finally I’ll remove all traces of Peppa Pig across the world. It’ll be decommissioned.

Sure, some children will be upset by this but think of the better world that will be created.

Not just that but you’ll also have a more successful business from employing my services.

To see how you could possibly support this great cause – click here.